Whenever I inspire people to go for their dreams, their minds are immediately programmed to focus on the idea, ‘But…what if I fail?’ The fear that follows distinguishes whatever inspiration and motivation they had inside. I always like to ask people this question instead, ‘What if you succeed?’

If you have the fear of failure, you are not alone. Everyone fears failure, from Presidents to athletes. From entrepreneurs to students. I can tell you that after delivering countless of seminars around the world to so many people, I still feel the fear before I go on stage. One of my mentors once told me that the day I have no more fear, is the day I no longer care or the day I am dead.

There is nothing wrong with having fear. Fear is an emotional response given to us by our creator for a specific purpose. When you learn to use it, fear heightens your senses, increases your focus and drives you to become even better prepared.

For example, the fear of not being able to deliver my very best to my students drives me to prepare and rehearse my seminars until it becomes excellent. Fear drives me to continuously get feedback and innovate to improve my programs even more each time.

What you must ensure is to never let fear paralyze you and stop you from taking action. That was never the intention of fear. Fear was never meant to limit us but to serve us.

From my experience and observation, the most successful people in the world fear failure as much as anyone else. So, how come they dare to dream big and take action to make their dreams happen. The reason is because they DEFINE failure very differently from the majority.

Many people define failure as NOT achieving their goals. They believe that if they set a goal and do not get there the first time, it means they have FAILED. The fact is that in life, we never ever achieve our goals the first time we go for it (I never have as well). So, if you define failure this way, then you are going to experience failure all the time. If you define failure this way, then you will never dare to set any kind of goal or to take any action. You have completely sabotaged yourself.

Successful people, on the other hand, DEFINE failure differently. They believe that when they set a goal and don’t reach it, they have NOT failed. They have gotten a LEARNING EXPERIENCE and are even closer to success. THey believe that they only fail when they give up. As long as they don’t quit and keep learning and moving forward, they have not failed yet!

Successful people also believe that the greatest failure in life is the failure to participate in life. Not even ‘trying’ is the greatest failure of all. If you don’t even give something a shot, that’s the ultimate failure. At least when you take action, you give yourself the opportunity to succeed or to learn something from it. Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.

Here is a quote from J.K Rowling (author of Harry Potter) that I love.

“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing in something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have never lived at all. In which case, you failed by default.”

Here is also a quote from Aung San Suu Kyi, The opposition leader from Myanmar that has taught me to never allow fear to hold me prisoner and to have the courage to follow my dreams. In 1990, Aung San’s democratic party won a landslide victory in the Burmese Nation but she was arrested by the ruling Junta and imprisoned for the last 14 years.

Although she could have been released if she decided to give up her political ambition to bring democracy to her country, she has chosen to remain in a physical prison believing that the only real prison is fear. That has long as she has no fear, she has ultimate freedom.

” The Only Real Prison is Fear and the Only Real Freedom is the Freedom from Fear”

In fact, my article has been posted on and discussed in some of the most popular forums in Singapore like CNA forums, online citizen, TemasekReview.com etc… How did I find out? A reporter from the New Paper called me and told me that my views stirred up a heated debate on all the forums. While most people generally agreed, there were a number who were ‘ flaming me’, calling me ‘crap’, ‘stupid’, ‘traitor’, ‘idiot’ ‘sucking up to PAP’ and accusing me of exploiting the poor. Basically, I was being defamed left right and centre.

Here are some of the nasty comments I got… I even got nasty comments from the post I wrote on ‘Never Giving Up’…

The interesting fact is this guy didn’t even do his research to find that I only employ 4 foreigners out of the 120+ staff I have in Singapore.

Then of course, I had my supporters…

I also got a little support from an ex-employee of mine

It’s these words of appreciation and support that give me the inspiration to keep on sharing my ideas through my books, blogs and seminars. Thanks guys!

Many people think that I am so ‘successful’ and confident that I am immune these criticism. To tell you the truth, it definitely hurts to read/hear anything nasty people say about you. One thing I have learnt to do is to accept the fact not everybody is going to like you. If you want to stand out in society and make a stand, you are got to be willing to be shot down. You have to be willing to take the hits. It’s all part of the game. Instead of getting angry and nasty myself, I usually reframe it in my mind to feel empathy and compassion for these people. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they are suffering inside. Maybe they need help. In a sense, I get myself to also feel thankful that they are giving me a chance to learn and become even better.

If You Want To Stand Out, You Have to Be Willing to Take Massive Rejection.

One thing I have learnt about life is that if you want to stand out of the crowd and be somebody who makes an impact in the world, you have to be willing to take massive rejection and criticism. It is the price you have to pay. In fact, you know that you are making a positive difference in the world when you are loved by people, while inevitably hated by others. The important thing is to of course be loved by alot more people than you are hated. If nobody hates you, it means that what you are doing isn’t big enough to make a mark in the world.

Think of these people who have shaped the world: Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, Barack Obama and Mahatma Gandhi. Of course I am in no way comparing myself to them. However, I admire them and their story gives me strength to deal with the rejections I get in my life.

Jesus, the founder of Christianity and the son of god ( according to Christians) came to earth to preach love and salvation. It is no doubt that he made a huge difference to mankind. But what was the price he had to pay for it? He was not just rejected by nasty comments on his blog. It was worse. He was persecuted, beaten, stabbed and crucified by the Jews. However, instead of getting angry at them, he forgave his distractors.

It’s the same thing with Mahatma Gandhi. He made a huge difference to not just India but also to the world. He liberated India from the British and united his people. He was one of the most peace loving guys on earth. Yet he was also hated and assassinated. Martin Luther King Jr, fought for civil rights for blacks and had a dream that blacks could live in peace and equality among whites. Because he lived, a black man can become the President of the US and a poor black girl can grow up to become a billionaire (Oprah Winfrey). Again, not everybody accepted his views. He was hated so much by radicals that he too was assassinated.

To Be Successful in Anything, You Have To Take Massive Rejection

The lesson I would like to share here is that if you want to be a successful and exceptional person who makes a mark in the world, you have to be willing to take lots of rejection. You have to be willing to be criticized, hated and laughed at by the thousands of jealous critics out there.

Many people in life have tremendous potential to make a difference and live their dreams. So why don’t they? I have found from coaching thousands of people that the main thing that stops people from setting goals and taking action is their FEAR of rejection. They fear being rejected by customers, so they don’t make the phone calls. They fear criticism, so they dare not volunteer and take up leadership positions. They fear being rejecited, so they dare not approach the man/woman of their dreams. They fear rejection, so they dare not voice their opinions.

The Only Real Prison Is Fear, And The Only Real Freedom Is Freedom From Fear- Aung San Suu Kyi

If you have allowed this fear to stop you in the past, think about this… If Jesus, Martin Luther king jr, Gandhi, the Dalai lama, Nelson Mandela could face persecution, jail, intends hatred and murder, why do you let the fear of petty rejections from people stop you from going for your dreams?

Another great example is President Barack Obama. In order to become the President, he had to face tremendous criticism because of his colour and his ‘Osama- Sounding’ like name. Even after he was threatended with assasination by white supremists, he went ahead and fought for the presidency and to bring about change in the United States and the World. After putting in so much effort to save the US economy, create jobs, fix health care and regulate the financial sector, there are still people who hate him enough to call him ‘a socialist’, ‘evil’, ‘deceptive’, ‘nigger’ etc…

So if the most powerful man in the world takes crap from people, don’t worry so much much when people do the same to you. Focus on the great you are doing in the world and keep doing it. At the end of the day, the person whose judgement counts most of all is the person staring back in the mirror!

It is not uncommon to look at these people who have life’s greatest rewards with a tinge of jealousy and envy. It is not uncommon to think that these people have been in some way blessed with more luck, more brains or more talent.

However, if you study the lives of highly successful individuals, you would find that at some point in their lives, they went through the greatest of problems and challenges. A business failure, bankruptcy, life threatening illness, divorce, lawsuit, financial loss etc… They all went through a time when life seemed unfair and things seemed hopeless. A time when the average person would cry, run away and surrender in defeat. The only reason why they are where there are today is because they refused to quit, they refused to accept defeat, they kept getting up and moving forward until they succeeded.

So, how do I know this? It’s because I have spent the last 20 years of my life studying successful people (by reading their biographies) and understanding what was really behind their tremendous success. In fact, I have found that the bigger the problems they had to overcome in the past, the bigger their rewards were at the end of the day.

The Story of Steve Jobs

A great example would be that of Steve Jobs, the founder and current CEO of Apple Inc. Apple Inc is one of the most successful technology companies in the world today, with a leadership position in the phone (iphone), music (itunes) and computer industry (Macs). Steve is one of the wealthiest and most successful technopreneurs the world has ever seen and has been nominated as CEO of the decade.

However, to get to where he is today, he had to make it through the toughest of times. At the beginning of his life, things were tough. He was born to an unwed college student who put him up for adoption. He was supposed to be adopted by a lawyer and his wife. However at the last minute, the couple decided that they did not want a boy and so instead, Steve was given away to a poor couple with little education.

Although Steve worked hard in school and made it to Reed College, the had to drop out after just one year as his parents life savings were not enough to pay for his college tuition. He had no money to eat so he had to return empty bottles for 5 cents and use the money to eat snacks. He only got one good meal a week at the Hari krishna temple where he had to walk 7 miles to. He had no money for rent so he slept on the floor of his friend’s dorm rooms in the university.

Because he dropped out of college and could not get a degree, Steve developed the habit of educating himself through reading free books from the library and developed a strong hunger for success. His lack of proper education forced him to become a creative genius. Starting from his parents garage with nothing but spare parts, he designed and developed a revolutionary computer called the Apple.

With nothing but his passion and hunger for success, Steve built a company from two people (his friend Woz) into a company with 6,000 people an over a billion dollars in sales in just a few year. Then, his life took another huge dive. He was fired by the new CEO that was brought in to run the company. Imagine how embarrassing and disgraceful it is to be fired from a company you started. Instead of giving up in shame, he started a new computer company called NEXT computers. That company failed a few years later and Steve lost alot of money.

However, he still wouldn’t quit and started another company named Pixar Animation. Pixar almost failed, until it was given the chance by Disney to make the groundbreaking animated movie TOY STORY. When everything seemed like it was going well, Steve was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and was given a few months to live. Steve still didn’t quit and fought his cancer and fought to rebuild his business and fortune. Just when everything seemed hopeless, his life turned around.

He survived the cancer after his tumour was removed and went on to engineer his return to Apple, which was on the verge of bankruptcy after mismanagement. The technology he developed at NEXT computers and Pixar gave him the ability to turn Apple into a super successful company again, making him one of the greatest CEOs of all time. Today, almost everyone who is young and hip wants an ipod, iphone or a Mac, all because of Steve.

The Story of Singapore
Today, I am proud to say that Singapore is ranked one of the richest countries in the world by GDP per capita (ranked #3 by IMF and the World Bank). Despite having no natural resources and being a tiny island, it is respected for having one of the world’s best airport, port, education system and military. Again, all this success came about only because Singapore went through huge challenges and its people never gave up.

If you know history, there was a time when Singapore’s future seemed bleak and hopeless too. When Singapore was told to leave the Malaysian federation, many predicted that Singapore would not survive by itself. Singapore had no military for defence, no natural resources (not even enough water) and an economy that was unsustainable. To make things worse, the British Forces decided to pull out shortly after, leaving the island on the brink of possible collapse. Even Lee Kwan Yew, the Prime Minister at the time, cried on National television from the pain of the separation and Singapore’s uncertain future.

Yet, he, and the small population of pioneers refused to quit and accept a life of failure or mediocrity. They dared to dream that one day, Singapore would not just survive but thrive into one of the most successful developed countries in the world. Did everything go according to plan? Of course not. It never does. Initially, no country offered to help Singapore build up its army. There were racial riots, communists challenging the government, food shortage, assassination attempts and social unrest. The prime minister himself, experienced times when he almost collapsed from exhaustion and was hospitalized from the tremendous stress. Then just went things seemed hopeless, things started to turn around and slowly but surely, the nation progressed to where it is today.

The Ultimate Test
One of the lessons I have learnt from all these stories is that there will ALWAYS be times in our life when we will go through times of extreme pain, problems, disappointment, failure and hardship. They will be times when we feel that life is unfair to us. That despite all that we have done, thing do not turn out the way we want.

I call these times ‘Life’s Ultimate Tests’. For many people, they allow these situations to completely destroy their faith, confidence and future success. They never quit and never recover. However, for a few, it is times like these that they find the inner strength and turn themselves into stronger people.

I can tell you from personal experience, that I have been through many of such situations in my life as well… both in my businesses and in my relationships. There were many times in my business and my relationships that I felt like quitting because everything seemed so hopeless and unfair. However, thank goodness, I eventually found the strength to get up from each defeat and keep moving forward. Now, looking back, it was these painful periods that allow me to enjoy the greatest rewards that I enjoy today.

The Power of Contrast

So, what kept me going? What gave me the ability to never give up and to never surrender? The first secret I used was the power of CONTRAST. To many of us, our problems may seem really huge and painful. Often times, this ‘impossible’ problem is only our perception! You can bet that somewhere in the world, there is something who is going through something 10 times worst than you are… and they are able to do it.

So, to inspire myself, I would read stories about other people who are going through extreme challenges in their life and find out how they get through it. After reading about them, my problems would suddenly seem so easy and achievable in contrast.

Some of the people who have inspired me the most include the story of the Hoyt Family. It is about a father who has to take care of his son, Rick, who was born with Cerebral Palsy and was paralyzed from the neck down. Rick was also unable to speak from birth. Despite doctors telling father Dick that his son will never be able to go to school or to work, Dick never gave up on his son. With his father’s help, Rick has participated in over 900 marathons, graduated from college and works in a full time job today. You can watch a video about the Hoyt family in my earlier post.

Another inspiring role model I have often blogged about is 86 year old Lim Yow Tong. In the 1996, Lim was declared a bankrupt after Emporium, the company he built for over 40 years, collapsed. At the age of 72, Lim’s total business debts were over $100 million. Instead of feeling sorry for himself and resigning himself to a fate of poverty, Lim refused to stay bankrupt. At age 72, when things would seem hopeless and impossible for most people his age and with his level of debt, he decided to start all over again. He left Singapore, going to Brunei and Malaysia to restart his business, with money from new investors.

10 years later, at the age of 82, Lim became a millionaire once more and was worth over $4 million. You can read more about him in my earlier post as well.

The Four Beliefs That Keep Me Going
Besides the power of contrast, what also enables me to get through the toughest periods of my life have been four beliefs that empower me constantly.

Belief #1: Everything Happens For A Reason
Many people give up when things seem tough because they see their suffering as being pointless and unfair. When they fail or experience huge setbacks, they see it as because they are not good enough, that what they are doing is not meant to be or that they are just unlucky. They tend to ask themselves, ‘why must this happen to me????’

I have always been able to stay confident and motivated because I believe that everything, no matter how bad it seems now, happens for a good reason. It is to either to teach me a valuable lesson to become better or there is somehow a blessing in disguise. As long as I keep taking action, the ‘problem’ will soon be revealed into a ‘blessing’. Believing in this has always given me the strength to carry on.

8 years ago, an interior design company I started with a partner was facing financial difficulties. After investing $250,000 just 12 months earlier, the company was facing severe cash flow problems. Sales that was projected to come in, never materialized. When the company was not able to pay its creditors, debt collectors came after me every day! I was harassed and threatened. When my partner was declared a bankrupt, I was left as a sole director, liable for the few hundred thousand in debt that was incurred. It was one of the most painful and stressful periods of my life!

Now looking back, I have realized that huge business failure of mine was a true blessing in disguise, because it taught me the most powerful lessons on business that allowed me to build the range of successful companies I have today. It taught me about prudent financial management and how to really select the right partners and team I can trust.These are lessons that school/ books could never teach me. It gave me the courage, wisdom and foresight to be able to build one of the largest education companies in Asia, starting with just $8,000. If I never had that big fall, I would never have picked up the mindset and skills of a truly great entrepreneur.

Belief #2:Every Event, No Matter How Bad, Will End.
The second belief that has kept me going through the toughest times is that no matter how bad an event is, it will always come to an end. Nothing bad lasts forever. Every recession will come to an end. With it will come the next economic boom. The pain of every relationship breakup will come to an end. With it will come the chance to create new and even better relationships. The earthquake in Haiti, no matter how disastrous it is now, will come to an end. With it will come the chance to rebuild the town and the people. We just have to make sure that we mentally make it to the end and are there to enjoy the start of a new beginning. It is rather sad when people commit suicide. To me, it is like a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

It is this belief that also gave me the opportunity to make lots of money during the financial crisis. In January 2009, stock markets had fallen so much (The US market was down 55%, Singapore was down 65% and China was down 70%), that many people thought that stocks would never recover. Prices seemed to be going down day after day with no end in sight.

Many people chose to sell at huge losses or were to fearful to buy when prices were so low. However, I believed that every market crash would end. Following it would be the greatest stock market rally in history. So in that same month, I wrote a book (in 30 days) called Profit from the Panic and invested 80% of all my money into the stock market. Sure enough, 2 months later, in March 2009, the crash ended and stocks began to see one of their biggest rise in the last 50 years! Stocks I bought at $2 were worth $12, making me a nice fortune.

Belief #3: Whatever Does Not Kill Me, Will Make Me Stronger
The third belief I have is that whatever does not kill me will make me stronger. Because of my parents divorce at age 13, I became a much stronger person emotionally. I learnt to be independent. Because I was dumped and heart broken by three girlfriends from age 16-22, I became a much stronger and smarter person. Because I lost over $150,000 in the stock market as a newbie investor in my early twenties, it has make me a much stronger and wiser investor today. Because my interior design company went bankrupt 8 years ago and I survived it, I have no fear of failure today.

Belief #4: It Is Always The Darkest Before Dawn

Finally, I have found that it is usually the darkest before dawn. What this means is that when things become the very worst it can be, it usually the signal that things will turn around. Did you know that seconds before the sun rises, the night is usually the darkest? Did you know that just before the stock market reverses and starts recovering, the majority of people panic and sell everything they have? It is called the ‘capitulation effect’. Capitulate means to surrender. Only when all the stock sellers have surrendered and sold everything they have left, the stock buyers will then come in and start pushing prices up again.

Watch any movie and you would see the same phenomenon. Just before the happy ending, the hero usually goes through a period when everything goes wrong and things seem hopeless. That’s when things suddenly turn around and the movie ends with success. As corny as it sounds, thats the way life is. The trouble is many people give up at that darkest point and never get to see the dawn.

A Short Video On Never Giving Up
Two years ago, I talked about Nick Vujicic, the man who was born without arms or legs. Here’s a video about him which I love. It’s about him talking about never ever giving up. It is not how you start. It is not what happens in the middle. It is how you finish. Are you going to finish strong? Enjoy it.

To end on a lighter note, I realized that even a tiny reptile like a lizard knows the meaning of never giving up until his last breath! Something we can definitely learn from.

You see, the mere act of writing down your goals gives you clarity and power! And it becomes even more effective when you share it with the people around you (because now you can’t back out!). I said I’d give away a FREE copy of one of my ebooks to the person who shares the most comprehensive and inspiring comment about their goals for 2010.

Well… I’ve gone through all 58 of your entries and I’ve picked a winner. Let’s congratulate Jay who shared his comment and was very clear about the goals he wants to achieve and also how he’s going to do them. Congratulations! My staff will be emailing you shortly for your prize.

If you didn’t win, please don’t look at it that way! Remember, just by taking the first step, sharing your goals and making it a public commitment, you have already shown how SERIOUS you are to YOURSELF about how important your goals are! That is power! So use that and skyrocket yourself towards success in 2010!

It is a brand new year again and a time when many people see as a fresh start to set New Years Resolutions. Have you wondered how many people actually work on, let alone achieve their resolutions? After coaching and training over 560,000 people in 7 countries and reading hundreds of emails a month, I can tell you that more than 90% of people never achieve their goals and make the changes they want in their life. So, if you have experienced this in the past, you are not alone.

So, why do so many people fail at keeping their resolutions, achieve their goals and make the changes they want in life? Here are three main reasons

Reason #1: Vague, Unspecific Goals
Solution: Get Clear on What You Want

The goals people set are often vague and non-specific. They set goals like ‘ to lose weight’ or ‘to make more money’. When you are vague, you will never get what you want. It is often said that CLARITY IS POWER. You need to set specific, measurable outcomes so your mind knows exactly what to do and what needs to be done to get it. For example, set goals like ‘to lose 10kg in 90 days and to weight exactly 48 kg’. When you are specific, you can then develop a plan of how many calories to consume a meal and how many hours you need to work out on a treadmill to burn ‘X’ calories per day.

When you set a clear goal like ‘to increase my income from $4,000month to $$10,000 a month in 5 months. You are clear that you have to build an extra income stream (s) of $6,000. You can possible develop a plan to earn an extra $2,000 from Internet marketing/ads from blogs, another $2,000 from trading FOREX and another $2,000 from doing part-time commissioned sales/tuition.

Reason #2: Lack of Consistent Focus
Solution: Focus on What You Want Daily

The second reason many people don’t get what they want is because they write a goal down, put it aside and forget about it until a year later. In the meantime, they get distracted and caught up with the daily struggles and demands of life.

What has really helped me is that I write my goals down on large pieces of Poster sized paper and stick it near my workstation, in my bedroom and in my office. I even design my goals onto my computer desktop wallpaper. This way, the goals are constantly IN MY FACE and ON MY MIND 18 hours a day. This makes me constantly remind myself to move towards my goals and to act in a way which I want.

Reason #3: Interest But Not a Commitment
Solution: Make a Public Commitment

Let’s face it. Many of us think of goals we would LIKE to achieve. We think it will be NICE to have. However, often times, it is not a strong COMMITMENT to MUST do it. As human beings, we are also great at breaking promises to ourselves and we start to justify. “I know I said I would lose weight but it’s just too difficult so nevermind, Nobody will know anyway’ is the common thought.

If you want to make things happen in your life, you have to make goals a COMMITMENT by putting yourself on the line. Make it very hard for you to turn back. What I often do is when I set a goal (e.g. recently I set a goal of writing a book ‘Secrets of Successful Teens’, I make a PUBLIC COMMITMENT by announcing it to my friends,family, facebook, BLOG and pretty much everyone I meet.

When you keep talking and announcing what you must do and change, your brain will give you no choice but to do it. This is a tough thing to do, but IT WORKS. So, my challenge to you is to announce your goals on my blog (under comments) so you are committed to make it happen.

The person who submits the most comprehensive and inspiring BLOG COMMENT will get a free ebook from me. The contest is on and will end on 18 Jan 2010.

Reason #4: Lack of Personal Power
Solution: Take Charge of Your Mind and Tale Action

The last thing that stops people from success is that they do not take action. They don’t use their personal power to get the results they want. What stops them from taking action are things like FEAR, PROCRASTINATION, SELF-DOUBT, LAZINESS etc…

You have to understand that you are in control of your own thoughts and emotions, Using techniques like NLP, you can learn how to control your mind and direct your focus to motivate yourself and break through negative habits and behavioural patterns. You have to learn NLP to develop focus and drive yourself to take massive action to get the results you want.

If one of your goals in 2010 is to make a significant change in your life and to really become the successful person you want to be, then make the life changing decision to attend the PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE programme that I conduct personally, together with NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer, Stuart Tan.

The PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE is an NLP-based Personal Excellence Programme that will empower you with the tools and strategies to:
- Design a powerful life plan using Achievable Outcome Thinking.
- Eliminate limiting Belief Filters and design new empowering ones to propel you forward
- Tap into peak states like motivation and self-confidence using Sub-modalities and Physiological Shifts.
- Overcome procrastination, fears and develop the personal power to take massive action
- Collapse negative patterns/habits that are limiting your professional and personal life. Install empowering ones you can use to trigger off your peak states at will.
- Re-ignite your drive by identifying and aligning your Values
- Develop powerful communication skills to influence others to your way of thinking

This programme is offered in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia and seats are really limited. For more information or to register for a free 3-hour preview workshop, call 62740105 and speak to one of my consultants now. I look forward to seeing you soon!

Next Patterns of Excellence Programme in Singapore: 4-7 March 2010
Free 3-Hour preview: 7pm, 14 Jan 2010, Adam Khoo Training Centre, 10 Hoe Chiang Rd #01-01

We all know this. So, what stops most people from actually becoming stronger and better each day? What stops many of us from becoming better at making friends, better at learning, better at leadership, better at public speaking?

I believe the answer is that FEAR is what keeps us within our comfort zone. We tend to want to keep doing what is comfortable and certain than to attempt something that is fearful and hence uncomfortable. As a result, we may never grow and become better.

For example, have you always wanted to be able to be a confident public speaker? Have you ever thought that the ability to speak to a group of people will make you a greater asset to your company, make you a better leader and give you a better chance for promotion and hence a higher income?

So, what has stopped you from becoming that great speaker? I would bet that it was the fear of even attempting in the first place; the fear of failure and embarrassment. When the chance came, you did not grab it. You let it pass by and allowed someone else to take it. As a result, you never had a chance to practice and become good at it.

Well, I am here to tell you that to grow, you have to get yourself to stretch out of your comfort zone! Do whatever frightens you (but benefits you). I can assure you that once you take that first step, it will not seem that fearful anymore. When your brain has realized that you have not died from it, you will become even stronger as a result. After you do it a few more times, the fear will not only disappear, but you may even find it fun. Remember, that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!

I can tell you that everyone feels fear. Fear is a god given gift meant to protect us. It can be useful at times. Unfortunately, if we don’t learn to control it, it will imprison us and harm us instead. When I first had to speak to a small crowd, do you think I was scared? Of course! So being scared is natural. The only people who do not feel fear are those in the graveyard. The first time, my hands were sweaty, my legs were shaking uncontrollably and I had a million butterflies in my stomach.

However, I learn from a book that FEAR is nothing but a False-Experience-Appearing-Real (F.E.A.R). It’s our mind that makes it worst that it actually is. If your mind can do that, Couldn’t your mind also make it funnier and easier than it actually is?

So, using NLP techniques that I had learnt, I visualized that my audience had ants in their underwear and that a bird was pooping on their heads. By changing the way my brain re-presented the experienced, I started feeling humorous and less fearful. After I finished that first speech, the fear lessened and the confidence grew. With each talk, the confidence grew and grew and that is what allows me to speak to a 5,000 strong crowd today with lots of confidence.

You can do the same thing to! You can build confidence in any area, as long as you take the first step to control your mind (learning NLP really helps), stretch out of your comfort zone and take action! So, think of a list of things that you are afraid/uncomfortable doing BUT you know is beneficial to you.

Could it be a fear of….
Public speaking? Dealing with numbers? Meeting New People? Sharing Your Feelings? Starting a project? Pursuing a new career? Going back to school/university to learn? Leading a group?

Commit to yourself to do one little thing a day that scares you, but will get you to stretch out of your comfort zone so you can a little stronger day by day.

As a Singaporean, I am not complaining. I think that in a meritocratic society like Singapore, it is only fair that the very best get rewarded, no matter their race, religion or nationality. Like Lee Kwan Yew said, I rather these talented and driven people be on our team contributing to our nation than against us from their home country. The question I have been asking is, ‘why are the expats beating the crap out of Singaporeans?’ What I noticed is that these expats have a very important quality that many Singaporeans (especially the new Y generation lack). It is a quality that our grandfathers and great-grandfathers (who came from distant lands) had that turned Singapore from a fishing village to the third richest country in the world (according to GDP per capita). Unfortunately, I fear this quality is soon disappearing from the new generation of Singaporeans. This quality is the HUNGER FOR SUCCESS and the FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!

Expats who come here today have the same tremendous HUNGER for success that our grandfathers had. They are willing to sacrifice, work hard and pay the price to succeed. They also believe that no one owes them a living and they have to work hard for themselves. They also bring with them the humility and willingness to learn. Take the case of Qui Biqing, the girl from Qifa Primary school who topped the whole of Singapore in last year’s PSLE with a score of 290. When she came to Singapore 3 years ago from China, she could hardly speak a word of English and didn’t even understand what a thermometer was. Although she was 10 years old, MOE recommended she start at Primary 2 because of her lack of English proficiency. After appealing, she managed to start in Primary 3. While most Singaporeans have a head start of learning English at pre-school at the age of 3-4 years old, she only started at age 10. Despite this handicapped, she had the drive to read continuously and practice her speaking and writing skills, eventually scoring an A-star in English!

This hunger and drive can also be seen in the workforce. I hate to say this but in a way, I sometimes think expats create more value than locals. Expats are willing to work long hours, go the extra mile, are fiercely loyal to you and don’t complain so much. They also come alot more qualified and do not ask the moon for the remuneration. Recently, I placed an ad for a marketing executive. Out of 100+ resumes, more than 60% came from expats. While locals fresh grads are asking for $2,500+ per month, I have expats with masters degrees from good universities willing to get less than $2,000! They know that if they can come in and learn and work hard, they will eventually climb up and earn alot more. They are willing to invest in themselves, pay the price for future rewards. Sometimes I wonder how some of the locals are going to compete with this. Of course, this is just a generalization. There ARE definitely some Singaporeans who create lots of value and show fighting spirit.

Unfortunately, I have found that more and more young Singaporeans lack this hunger for success. Instead, they like to complain, blame circumstances and wait for others to push them. Some hold on to the attitude that the world owes them a living. I shake my head when I see local kids nowadays complain that they don’t have the latest handphones, branded clothes and games. While I acknowledge that the kids of today are much smarter and well informed than I was at their age (my 4 year old daughter can use my Macbook computer and my iphone), I find that they lack the resilience and tenacity they need to survive in the new economy. Some kids nowadays tend to give up easily once they find that things get tough and demand instant gratification. When they have to work first to get rewards later, many tend to lack the patience to follow through.

So, how did this happen? Why is our nation of hardworking, hungry fighters slowly becoming a nation of complaining softies? I think the problem is that life in Singapore has been too good and comfortable. Kids today have never seen hunger, poverty, war and disasters. What makes it worse is that parents nowadays give kids everything they want and over protect them from hardship and failure. Parents often ask me why their kids lack the motivation to study and excel. My answer to them is because they already have everything! Giving someone everything they want is the best way to kill their motivation. What reason is there for them to fight to become the best when they are already given the best from their parents without having to earn it? It reminds me of the cartoon movie MADAGASCAR where Alex the Lion and his animal friends were born and raised in the Central Park Zoo. They were well taken care of and provided with processed food and an artificial jungle. When they escaped to Africa, they found that they could barely survive in the wild with the other animals because they had lots their instincts to fight and hunt for food. They could only dance and sing.

I see the same thing in the hundreds of seminars and training programmes I conduct. I see increasing more and more expats attending my Wealth Academy and Patterns of Excellence programme in Singapore. Not surprisingly, they are always the first to grab the microphone to answer and ask questions. While many of the locals come in late and sit at the back. The expats (especially those from India and China) always sit at the front, take notes ferociously and stay back way after the programme is over to ask questions. I feel ashamed sometimes when I ask for volunteers to ask questions, and the Singaporeans keep quiet, while the foreigners fight for the opportunity. For my “I Am Gifted!’ programme for students, I have the privileged to travel and conduct it in seven countries (Singapore, Indonesia, Hong Kong, China, Malaysia etc…) and see all students from all over. Is there a big difference in their attitude and behaviour? You bet!

Again, I feel really sad that in Singapore, most students who come are usually forced by their parents to come and improve themselves, Some parents even bribe them with computer games and new handphones to attend. During the course, some adopt the ‘I know everything’ attitude and lack the interest to succeed until I kick their butts. It is so different when I go to Malaysia, Indonesia and once in India. The kids there ask their parents to send them to my programme. They clap and cheer enthusiastically when the teachers enter the room and participate so willingly when lessons are on. I still scratch my head and wonder what happened to my fellow Singaporeans to this day.

So mark my words, unless the new generation of Singaporeans wake up and get out of their happy over protected bubble and start fighting for their future, the expats (like our great grandfathers) will soon be the rulers of the country. At the rate at which talented and hungry expats are climbing up , our future prime minister may be an Indian or China PR or may even an Ang Moh!

However, have you considered how often you feed your mind and your soul? If you want to grow in terms of your emotional strength and mental strength and abilities, then you have to constantly feed your mind and soul as often as you feed your body. If not, the only growth you will achieve is in growing fat.

Feeding Your Mind
One of the things that has really helped me to become successful is that since I was aged 13, I got into the habit of constantly feeding my mind everyday. I would constantly read books on success, money, sales, marketing, leadership, NLP etc.. I would also read lots of biographies. My favourite ones are on Lee Kwan Yew, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and Donald Trump. I always felt that by reading Lee Kwan Yew’s biography (from third world to first: the Singapore Story), it was like I downloaded 80 years of his knowledge, experience, wisdom and past decisions to my brain

So, although I am only 35 years old now, I am able to make great decisions because I feel like I have got a few hundred years of experience in my brain (Lee Kwan Yew 80 years + Steve Jobs 50 years + Donald Trump 40 years + etc…). How did I find the time to read so much? My habit has always been to carry a book in my bag at all times. So, every time I am waiting for someone, taking the bus (when I was a student), in the toilet etc… I would grab the book and start reading. Doing this, I would be able to finish at least 1-2 books a week. Today, I read alot when I am on the plane, waiting at the airport and when I am driving (I listen to audio books).

Be careful also about what you feed into your mind. When you keep eating junk food, it will spoil your health and making you slow and lethargic. At the same time, you have to ask yourself what you are feeding your mind everyday. What magazines do you read? Which websites do you visit? What shows do you watch? What are the last 5 books you have read.

When people tell me that they want to become rich, I am shocked to learn that they never read information that will feed their mind in the right way. They don’t read magazines like Forbes, The Edge, The Economist. They don’t watch programmes like CNBC, CNN Money. They don’t got to websites like cnbc.com, moneycentral.com or cnn.com/money. They don’t read books on investing, financial planning, property etc… They don’t read the money pages on the newspapers. Instead they feed their minds with FHM, Sports Pages, Lifestyle etc… Nothing wrong with all theses things, It’s just that it will not feed your mind to become rich, just entertained.

Feed Your Soul
In order to constantly feel inspired, re-charged, fulfilled and motivated, we also have to constantly feed and nourish our soul. Different people feed their souls in different ways. Some people pray, others meditate, others write journals and some go on nature walks. I read inspirational books, play with my children and spend time with my wife and family.

If you constantly feel stressed, drained or unfulfilled, you probably have not allocated the time to nourish your soul and spirit daily. So, feed your mind and soul today to create the mental and emotional strength you need.

This is a comment that some people always seem to make whenever they read about my success story. Some people will always go on to say… I can ever be as successful as you because I am not as lucky. I am not so lucky to have your talent for speaking and writing. I am not so lucky to have such great partners like you do to help you build your business. I am not so lucky to have gone for NLP courses when I was young etc…

After listening to these comments again and again, I decided to really ponder and reflect if it is really because I was just LUCKY. Is what they say true? Did luck have a big part to play in my achievements? Hmmm…

After thinking about it for a while, I realized that there are two kinds of luck that have played a part in my life. #1 The Luck of where and when we are born and #2 the luck we experience after birth, during our life’s journey.

#1 The Lucky Birth

I must admit that I was born pretty lucky. I was born in a country where there are equal opportunities regardless of race/religion. I was born with a healthy body with 5 fingers and 5 toes. I was born with two parents who had the means to send me to school, give me 3 meals a day and provide shelter for me.

I figured that no matter where you are in life, there are always going to be people luckier than you are and people less lucky. I can always bitch and complain that I was not born with the looks and talent of Robbie Williams & Brad Pitt (or in a girl’s case, Britney Spears) or the money and political connections like the son of a tycoon or politician. If only I could be the son of Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Lee Kwan Yew, Ong Beng Seng, Khoo, Ng Teng Fong or KHOO Teck Puat (unfortunately, not related to me).

At the same time, no matter how unlucky you think you are, there are millions more who are less lucky. There are people born in third world, impoverished countries with no food or water. With no money to buy clothes, let alone go to school. There are millions more with illnesses and disabilities. There are so many born with no parents, abused and neglected.

So, I learnt to really be grateful with wherever I am right now.

#2 Luck That Comes Along in Life

Then of course we have the luck that comes to us in our journey of life. Indeed, I was very lucky that at age 13, I picked up the book ‘Unlimited Power’ written by Anthony Robbins that introduced me to the world of success psychology and NLP (Neuro-Lingusitic Programming). It was that book that made me want to attend motivational courses and NLP courses when I was a teen.

Without that knowledge, I would not have been able to totally transform myself from a lazy person and lousy student to a super confident and top student. I would just be another ordinary person today. So I was LUCKY that that event happened in my life.

But then again, I know many other people who attend the same motivational courses and read inspiring self-development books but they never used it to change their life and become successful. So, in other words, an event can only be lucky for you IF YOU TAKE ACTION on it.

I came up with this formula:

LUCK = OPPORTUNITY + PREPARATION + ACTION

Yes, reading the books and attending the courses was the OPPORTUNITY. But, without me taking action and applying it (which many others did not), the luck would not have happened.

Creating Opportunity

Some people may say that life never gives them any opportunity at all, so they can never be lucky.

I believe opportunities are out there every single day. They come and go very quickly. The trouble is that many people NEVER SEE those opportunities. The reason is because opportunities never look like opportunities. Opportunities always come DISGUISED as PROBLEMS.

For example, the opportunity came for me to learn NLP as a teen because I was a lazy, unmotivated slow learner who got kicked out of school in Primary 3 and was rejected by 6 secondary schools. It was because I was such a lousy student that made me want to change my life and learn the strategies for success.

The opportunity came because of a problem. It was this same problem of being a lousy student before that gave me the opportunity to write my best-selling book ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’ to inspire ordinary students to become top achievers. If not for my problem, I could not have the opportunity to write such an inspiring book and create my famous ‘I Am Gifted’ program for students.

Nick Vujicic (who I talked about in my earlier post) had the opportunity to speak to and inspire millions of people BECAUSE he had a huge ‘problem’. He was born with no arms and no legs. He turned his ‘problem’ into an ‘opportunity’. Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple Computers) had the great opportunity to start Pixar Animation studios and create the revolutionary iPod, iMacs and iPhones because he was earlier fired from Apple. The problem of being fired gave Steve the opportunity to start a new company (Pixar and NeXT) and innovate these groundbreaking new products!

So, do not fear problems. Problems are nothing but opportunities in disguise. Recognize them and turn them into luck.

No Opportunities? Create Them!

Even if there are really no opportunities given to you, then create your OWN opportunities. If your boss does not offer you a promotion, ask for one! If you don’t get it even if you deserve it, start your own business or work for a better company. If the woman/man of your dreams does not approach you, go out there and meet people!

People have asked me where I first got the opportunity to start speaking and training, thereby building these skills over the years. The truth is NO ONE gave me the opportunity when I was 21 (when I first started). No body wanted to hear me talk. I had no experience, no degree and no credibility. So I created my own opportunity by writing books to build my name and gave free talks to community centres, schools and churches until I became a speaker.

You Need to Prepare to Be Lucky

“The harder you work, the luckier you get.” Gary Player, Former Top Ranked Golfer.

Some people say that President Obama was lucky to be at the right place at the right time. Because former President George Bush screwed up so badly, Americans wanted total change and were willing to vote for him (a young, African American President instead of an experienced white one).

However for Obama to have taken advantage of the OPPORTUNITY and TAKE ACTION, he had to be PREPARED. He had to have all the knowledge and skills to do the job. It took him 40+ years to prepare himself to be lucky. If you know his life story, he set the goal of become the US President at the age of 5, when he was studying in Jakarta. Since then he studied very hard, took on leadership roles, volunteered for community service, went to Columbia University and Harvard University where he studied Politics, International Relations and Law.

This is why …
LUCK = OPPORTUNITY + PREPARATION + ACTION

If you do not constantly prepare yourself by building your knowledge and skills through reading and attending regular courses, you can NEVER be lucky. People say I was very lucky to have bought stocks during the financial crisis that allowed me to make lots of money when the stock market recovered.

Again, to many people, the financial crisis seemed to be a PROBLEM. I saw it as the greatest investment OPPORTUNITY and took ACTION by investing and writing the best selling book ‘Profit from the Panic’. Again, I was lucky because I was PREPARED to invest. It took me many many years to learn the strategies of finance and investing to create my luck

So, start making your own LUCK today by looking out from problems and see them as opportunities. Keep building your knowledge and skills by taking courses of leadership, wealth creation, public speaking, sales etc.. Finally, take action!

P.S. I conduct the PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE program in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia where I personally coach people in using NLP to transform their lives and create extraordinary success.

It is true that all of us are born under different circumstances. i.e. some of us are born rich, while others are born poor. Some of us are born with loving and encouraging parents while others are abandoned at birth. Some of us are born physically strong, while others are physically weak.

However, I believe that God gave us all ONE POWER. No matter your race, family background, nationality, we all have this POWER given to us. This POWER can be used to transform our life into anything we want it to be. This POWER can be used to achieve any dream we want or it can be used to destroy our life.

This POWER I am referring to is the power to CHOOSE. From the time you wake up in the morning till the time you go to bed, you have the opportunity to make thousands of choices every second.

It is the CHOICES you make every hour of every day that constantly shape the direction of you life. Think of all the choices you made (consciously and subconsciously) since you woke up this morning. You had the choice to wake up early and do a workout or choose to oversleep and get up at the last minute.

You chose the kind of food you put into your mouth. You chose what to read when you looked at the newspapers, Internet or TV (did you read the finance section, lifestyle section etc…).

If you are financially wealthy today, it is the result of the culmination of ALL the choices you have made everyday for the last so many years. You probably chose to learn how to invest, chose to invest prudently, chose the right career for yourself, chose to research investments, chose to read the financial news,chose to save money, chose not to spend money on what was not necessary etc… At the same time, if you are broke today, it is because of all the different choices you have made.

You have a Choice in Life. So, Choose to Win!

So you see, You can choose to be a winner or choose to be a loser. You can choose to be rich and successful in your future or choose to be poor and unhappy. You can choose to be lazy or choose to be motivated.

Success and happiness is not something that just happens to you by accident. It is a choice that you make.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, ‘wait a minute…’ ‘ There are many things in my life that I had no choice over!’ I did not choose my parents. I could not choose to be born rich instead of poor nor could I choose to be smart instead of slow, good looking instead of average.

Yes, while you may have no choice over what happens to you in life (I call it the outer world), but you have 100% choice over your own THOUGHTS and ACTIONS (I call this your inner world). Your thoughts and actions are what really matter because they are the ones that determine your success, wealth, health and happiness.

By choosing the right thoughts and actions, you have the POWER to change what happens in the outer world. You have the POWER to achieve any result that you want!

When You Change Your Inner World, The Outer World Will Follow

One of my friends, Kate, shared her story with me. Ever since she was young, her mum had this habit of putting her down. She would say, ‘you are always so lazy’, ‘ you are so forgetful’ and ‘how can you succeed?

At first, Kate let herself be discouraged by her mum’s words; she felt inadequate and didn’t dare to reach for her goals. She kept wishing that she had a more encouraging mum.

Then one day, after talking to me, Kate learnt that she had the power to change her life. Although she could not change her mother, she could choose to change her thoughts and actions. She decided to think positively, ‘I can do it! I will prove it to my mum!’ and she started taking positive action by believing in herself and working harder.

When she started to change her inner world, her outer world began to change. Sure enough, with a lot more motivation & self-confidence, she started to achieve more success in her grades and her tennis. When her mum saw her success, she changed too. Instead of putting her daughter down, her mum now praises her in front of their relatives. The funny thing about life is that when we change, the people around us all begin to change.

Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future

If you are getting lousy results in your life right now because of wrong choices you have made in the past, don’t worry! It is never too late to change. The past does not equal the future.

Just because you have gotten lousy results in the past does not mean that you will always get lousy results in the future. Just because you have not been getting along with your spouse/parents/boss in the past does not mean that things will be the same in the future. The future depends on the choices you make right NOW, in the present.

The good news is that if you start making positive choices TODAY, you can create the success that you want TOMORROW. Today, is a brand new opportunity for you to make things right!