Do Something That Scares You Everyday!

In order to become more successful, it is important to continually strive for personal growth. We need to keep pushing ourselves to be better than the person we were in the past. As time goes by, we need to keep growing in terms of our mental strength, emotional strength, abilities and skills.

We all know this. So, what stops most people from actually becoming stronger and better each day? What stops many of us from becoming better at making friends, better at learning, better at leadership, better at public speaking?

I believe the answer is that FEAR is what keeps us within our comfort zone. We tend to want to keep doing what is comfortable and certain than to attempt something that is fearful and hence uncomfortable. As a result, we may never grow and become better.

For example, have you always wanted to be able to be a confident public speaker? Have you ever thought that the ability to speak to a group of people will make you a greater asset to your company, make you a better leader and give you a better chance for promotion and hence a higher income?

So, what has stopped you from becoming that great speaker? I would bet that it was the fear of even attempting in the first place; the fear of failure and embarrassment. When the chance came, you did not grab it. You let it pass by and allowed someone else to take it. As a result, you never had a chance to practice and become good at it.

Well, I am here to tell you that to grow, you have to get yourself to stretch out of your comfort zone! Do whatever frightens you (but benefits you). I can assure you that once you take that first step, it will not seem that fearful anymore. When your brain has realized that you have not died from it, you will become even stronger as a result. After you do it a few more times, the fear will not only disappear, but you may even find it fun. Remember, that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!

I can tell you that everyone feels fear. Fear is a god given gift meant to protect us. It can be useful at times. Unfortunately, if we don’t learn to control it, it will imprison us and harm us instead. When I first had to speak to a small crowd, do you think I was scared? Of course! So being scared is natural. The only people who do not feel fear are those in the graveyard. The first time, my hands were sweaty, my legs were shaking uncontrollably and I had a million butterflies in my stomach.

However, I learn from a book that FEAR is nothing but a False-Experience-Appearing-Real (F.E.A.R). It’s our mind that makes it worst that it actually is. If your mind can do that, Couldn’t your mind also make it funnier and easier than it actually is?

So, using NLP techniques that I had learnt, I visualized that my audience had ants in their underwear and that a bird was pooping on their heads. By changing the way my brain re-presented the experienced, I started feeling humorous and less fearful. After I finished that first speech, the fear lessened and the confidence grew. With each talk, the confidence grew and grew and that is what allows me to speak to a 5,000 strong crowd today with lots of confidence.

You can do the same thing to! You can build confidence in any area, as long as you take the first step to control your mind (learning NLP really helps), stretch out of your comfort zone and take action! So, think of a list of things that you are afraid/uncomfortable doing BUT you know is beneficial to you.

Could it be a fear of….
Public speaking? Dealing with numbers? Meeting New People? Sharing Your Feelings? Starting a project? Pursuing a new career? Going back to school/university to learn? Leading a group?

Commit to yourself to do one little thing a day that scares you, but will get you to stretch out of your comfort zone so you can a little stronger day by day.

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22 Comments so far

  1. Jinnie on January 1st, 2010

    Fear is inevitable, I agree cheer is about to happen once u deliver against fear.
    A young lad always think many times, “Should I first talk to her!!! Once he talk and then gifts of happiness in Life rains arround.

  2. Kevin Chong Kok Sing on January 14th, 2010

    fear can become your problem to face truth. Only you can overcome it then you can success when you really done it now.

  3. victor hermosa on January 17th, 2010

    nice article again adam. i was inspired. god bless….

  4. Samuel Akurugu on January 17th, 2010

    Infact,Fear is something we should rather fear. This is so because, it has prevent so many people to be where the are and have made so many people life uncomfortable. But, thank God he has given us power to overcome fear. You can overcome fear by understanding and acceting the fact that, with God on your side you can do all things.
    Thanks.

  5. Pwaveno H. Bamaiyi on January 17th, 2010

    That is a nice one Adam. Could False Experience Appearing Real(FEAR) also be False Evidence Appearing Real(FEAR)? I believe so.

  6. Get on January 17th, 2010

    I thanks. I know from my real expriance fear prevent me and make uncomfortable. So it is nice article.I was inspired.

  7. fred on January 17th, 2010

    spelling meaning mistake, worse not worst wrong meaning, in this case it does not really matter but please be careful sometomes a spelling error can seriously give the wrong meaning a throw the reader into confusion or indicate the wrong meaning.

  8. anas on January 17th, 2010

    Thanks a lot Adam, I ‘ve just write a note that similar your article above, I agree with so much, courage is doing something that you are afraid/fear to do it. There can be no courage unless you’re scared

  9. Margarita Six on January 18th, 2010

    I appreciate the idea of imagining a different scenario while making a presentation or speech. Fear had left my mind blank on previous occasional so will think about your tip for my next presentation happening on the next three days!

  10. Budi Rachmat on January 18th, 2010

    Agree…. with you Adam.

    this fear will always follow us.
    the fastest way to eliminate it is to immediately do what we fear.

    BUDI Rachmat @ http://twitter.com/budi_rachmat

  11. Lngisani on January 18th, 2010

    I have said this before that every time I read your news letters/article I feel inspired and ready to take that next step in my life. Thank you Adam for sharing your knowledge God bless you. Much Appreciated!!

  12. Elexis on January 18th, 2010

    hi mr.adam

    im one of the participants in ‘I am Gifted [Senior Camp]‘ on June 2008. The camp was held in Seremban. I want to thank you all of the coaches, other participants[especially my group members],Webster, Stuart & you for changing my life.

    YOU GUYS ROcKZZzz!!!

    Sincerely, Jien Shir.

  13. Geary on January 18th, 2010

    I agree 100%. Time has past, and this is my year to face and break free from comfort zones. Do you have anything that can help?

  14. Sridhar on April 17th, 2010

    Awesome Adam!

    Very true… It sometimes gets a little tough to start looking for something you fear!

    But yes, if you can do one new thing a day – that definitely helps!

    I never used to comment ^_^

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  18. Gopal India on May 20th, 2010

    Very Nice Adam… again u stressed me to leave a comment… i think this is the easiest way be stronger day by day….
    Gopal (India)

  19. ltvan92 on May 8th, 2011

    Mr. Khoo

    I have encountered a problem.

    Although I know that I should get out of my Comfort Zone to gain more things, to grow, and although I really feel great everytime I success, but when I have to do something I WANT to do but dont LIKE it, I still delay. That cause a lot of stress. It is like addiction. But when somebody addict to something, they are forced to do. I am forced to delay.

    Sometimes I hate myself like this but can not change.

    I remember in the book Master You mind , Design Your Destiny, you have said that

    If there is a man with a gun, shot in your lover’ s head if you dont wake up early and take excise every morning. You still encounter the same difficulties but overcome everything, in order to protect your lover.

    The solutions will came after we put ourselves in compulsory. But Should I imagine a guy with a gun or just do it immediately without procrastination, without thinking? Please tell me if there is a tool to overcome this.

    Thank you very much.

  20. Adam on May 10th, 2011

    You need to reporgram and recondition your mind with NLP techniques like the ‘Swish Pattern’ and ‘Anchoring’. That is what I mentioned in the ‘Master Your Mind, Destiny Your Destiny Book’. In the Patterns of Excellence programs, you will be trained and coach to break these negative patterns like procrastination and install new winning patterns to drive you to success

  21. bùi anh d?ng on July 12th, 2011

    i really like your article, it make me feel more confiden but everything isn’t easily, everything always relate ourself so we hate to improve ourself before we do…..

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