Wow! I am surprised at how much attention and reactions I have gotten from my post on ‘The Expats Will Rule Singapore‘. I guess it must be a very sensitive topic to many people. I got over 50 comments from that post. Some people agreed with my views while others disagreed. That’s fine. It’s great to have different perspectives. What surprised me was that some people got pretty nasty and resorted to threatening, verbal abuse and name-calling.
In fact, my article has been posted on and discussed in some of the most popular forums in Singapore like CNA forums, online citizen, TemasekReview.com etc… How did I find out? A reporter from the New Paper called me and told me that my views stirred up a heated debate on all the forums. While most people generally agreed, there were a number who were ‘ flaming me’, calling me ‘crap’, ’stupid’, ‘traitor’, ‘idiot’ ’sucking up to PAP’ and accusing me of exploiting the poor. Basically, I was being defamed left right and centre.
Here are some of the nasty comments I got… I even got nasty comments from the post I wrote on ‘Never Giving Up’…
The interesting fact is this guy didn’t even do his research to find that I only employ 4 foreigners out of the 120+ staff I have in Singapore.
Then of course, I had my supporters…
I also got a little support from an ex-employee of mine
It’s these words of appreciation and support that give me the inspiration to keep on sharing my ideas through my books, blogs and seminars. Thanks guys!
Many people think that I am so ’successful’ and confident that I am immune these criticism. To tell you the truth, it definitely hurts to read/hear anything nasty people say about you. One thing I have learnt to do is to accept the fact not everybody is going to like you. If you want to stand out in society and make a stand, you are got to be willing to be shot down. You have to be willing to take the hits. It’s all part of the game. Instead of getting angry and nasty myself, I usually reframe it in my mind to feel empathy and compassion for these people. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they are suffering inside. Maybe they need help. In a sense, I get myself to also feel thankful that they are giving me a chance to learn and become even better.
If You Want To Stand Out, You Have to Be Willing to Take Massive Rejection.
One thing I have learnt about life is that if you want to stand out of the crowd and be somebody who makes an impact in the world, you have to be willing to take massive rejection and criticism. It is the price you have to pay. In fact, you know that you are making a positive difference in the world when you are loved by people, while inevitably hated by others. The important thing is to of course be loved by alot more people than you are hated. If nobody hates you, it means that what you are doing isn’t big enough to make a mark in the world.
Think of these people who have shaped the world: Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, Barack Obama and Mahatma Gandhi. Of course I am in no way comparing myself to them. However, I admire them and their story gives me strength to deal with the rejections I get in my life.
Jesus, the founder of Christianity and the son of god ( according to Christians) came to earth to preach love and salvation. It is no doubt that he made a huge difference to mankind. But what was the price he had to pay for it? He was not just rejected by nasty comments on his blog. It was worse. He was persecuted, beaten, stabbed and crucified by the Jews. However, instead of getting angry at them, he forgave his distractors.
It’s the same thing with Mahatma Gandhi. He made a huge difference to not just India but also to the world. He liberated India from the British and united his people. He was one of the most peace loving guys on earth. Yet he was also hated and assassinated. Martin Luther King Jr, fought for civil rights for blacks and had a dream that blacks could live in peace and equality among whites. Because he lived, a black man can become the President of the US and a poor black girl can grow up to become a billionaire (Oprah Winfrey). Again, not everybody accepted his views. He was hated so much by radicals that he too was assassinated.
To Be Successful in Anything, You Have To Take Massive Rejection
The lesson I would like to share here is that if you want to be a successful and exceptional person who makes a mark in the world, you have to be willing to take lots of rejection. You have to be willing to be criticized, hated and laughed at by the thousands of jealous critics out there.
Many people in life have tremendous potential to make a difference and live their dreams. So why don’t they? I have found from coaching thousands of people that the main thing that stops people from setting goals and taking action is their FEAR of rejection. They fear being rejected by customers, so they don’t make the phone calls. They fear criticism, so they dare not volunteer and take up leadership positions. They fear being rejecited, so they dare not approach the man/woman of their dreams. They fear rejection, so they dare not voice their opinions.
The Only Real Prison Is Fear, And The Only Real Freedom Is Freedom From Fear- Aung San Suu Kyi
If you have allowed this fear to stop you in the past, think about this… If Jesus, Martin Luther king jr, Gandhi, the Dalai lama, Nelson Mandela could face persecution, jail, intends hatred and murder, why do you let the fear of petty rejections from people stop you from going for your dreams?
Another great example is President Barack Obama. In order to become the President, he had to face tremendous criticism because of his colour and his ‘Osama- Sounding’ like name. Even after he was threatended with assasination by white supremists, he went ahead and fought for the presidency and to bring about change in the United States and the World. After putting in so much effort to save the US economy, create jobs, fix health care and regulate the financial sector, there are still people who hate him enough to call him ‘a socialist’, ‘evil’, ‘deceptive’, ‘nigger’ etc…
So if the most powerful man in the world takes crap from people, don’t worry so much much when people do the same to you. Focus on the great you are doing in the world and keep doing it. At the end of the day, the person whose judgement counts most of all is the person staring back in the mirror!
In life, we come across people who seem to have spectacular success and the richest of rewards. They may own multi-million dollar businesses, are recognized for being the greatest in their field and may enjoy passionate and deeply fulfilling relationships.
It is not uncommon to look at these people who have life’s greatest rewards with a tinge of jealousy and envy. It is not uncommon to think that these people have been in some way blessed with more luck, more brains or more talent.
However, if you study the lives of highly successful individuals, you would find that at some point in their lives, they went through the greatest of problems and challenges. A business failure, bankruptcy, life threatening illness, divorce, lawsuit, financial loss etc… They all went through a time when life seemed unfair and things seemed hopeless. A time when the average person would cry, run away and surrender in defeat. The only reason why they are where there are today is because they refused to quit, they refused to accept defeat, they kept getting up and moving forward until they succeeded.
So, how do I know this? It’s because I have spent the last 20 years of my life studying successful people (by reading their biographies) and understanding what was really behind their tremendous success. In fact, I have found that the bigger the problems they had to overcome in the past, the bigger their rewards were at the end of the day.
The Story of Steve Jobs
A great example would be that of Steve Jobs, the founder and current CEO of Apple Inc. Apple Inc is one of the most successful technology companies in the world today, with a leadership position in the phone (iphone), music (itunes) and computer industry (Macs). Steve is one of the wealthiest and most successful technopreneurs the world has ever seen and has been nominated as CEO of the decade.
However, to get to where he is today, he had to make it through the toughest of times. At the beginning of his life, things were tough. He was born to an unwed college student who put him up for adoption. He was supposed to be adopted by a lawyer and his wife. However at the last minute, the couple decided that they did not want a boy and so instead, Steve was given away to a poor couple with little education.
Although Steve worked hard in school and made it to Reed College, the had to drop out after just one year as his parents life savings were not enough to pay for his college tuition. He had no money to eat so he had to return empty bottles for 5 cents and use the money to eat snacks. He only got one good meal a week at the Hari krishna temple where he had to walk 7 miles to. He had no money for rent so he slept on the floor of his friend’s dorm rooms in the university.
Because he dropped out of college and could not get a degree, Steve developed the habit of educating himself through reading free books from the library and developed a strong hunger for success. His lack of proper education forced him to become a creative genius. Starting from his parents garage with nothing but spare parts, he designed and developed a revolutionary computer called the Apple.
With nothing but his passion and hunger for success, Steve built a company from two people (his friend Woz) into a company with 6,000 people an over a billion dollars in sales in just a few year. Then, his life took another huge dive. He was fired by the new CEO that was brought in to run the company. Imagine how embarrassing and disgraceful it is to be fired from a company you started. Instead of giving up in shame, he started a new computer company called NEXT computers. That company failed a few years later and Steve lost alot of money.
However, he still wouldn’t quit and started another company named Pixar Animation. Pixar almost failed, until it was given the chance by Disney to make the groundbreaking animated movie TOY STORY. When everything seemed like it was going well, Steve was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and was given a few months to live. Steve still didn’t quit and fought his cancer and fought to rebuild his business and fortune. Just when everything seemed hopeless, his life turned around.
He survived the cancer after his tumour was removed and went on to engineer his return to Apple, which was on the verge of bankruptcy after mismanagement. The technology he developed at NEXT computers and Pixar gave him the ability to turn Apple into a super successful company again, making him one of the greatest CEOs of all time. Today, almost everyone who is young and hip wants an ipod, iphone or a Mac, all because of Steve.
The Story of Singapore
Today, I am proud to say that Singapore is ranked one of the richest countries in the world by GDP per capita (ranked #3 by IMF and the World Bank). Despite having no natural resources and being a tiny island, it is respected for having one of the world’s best airport, port, education system and military. Again, all this success came about only because Singapore went through huge challenges and its people never gave up.
If you know history, there was a time when Singapore’s future seemed bleak and hopeless too. When Singapore was told to leave the Malaysian federation, many predicted that Singapore would not survive by itself. Singapore had no military for defence, no natural resources (not even enough water) and an economy that was unsustainable. To make things worse, the British Forces decided to pull out shortly after, leaving the island on the brink of possible collapse. Even Lee Kwan Yew, the Prime Minister at the time, cried on National television from the pain of the separation and Singapore’s uncertain future.
Yet, he, and the small population of pioneers refused to quit and accept a life of failure or mediocrity. They dared to dream that one day, Singapore would not just survive but thrive into one of the most successful developed countries in the world. Did everything go according to plan? Of course not. It never does. Initially, no country offered to help Singapore build up its army. There were racial riots, communists challenging the government, food shortage, assassination attempts and social unrest. The prime minister himself, experienced times when he almost collapsed from exhaustion and was hospitalized from the tremendous stress. Then just went things seemed hopeless, things started to turn around and slowly but surely, the nation progressed to where it is today.
The Ultimate Test
One of the lessons I have learnt from all these stories is that there will ALWAYS be times in our life when we will go through times of extreme pain, problems, disappointment, failure and hardship. They will be times when we feel that life is unfair to us. That despite all that we have done, thing do not turn out the way we want.
I call these times ‘Life’s Ultimate Tests’. For many people, they allow these situations to completely destroy their faith, confidence and future success. They never quit and never recover. However, for a few, it is times like these that they find the inner strength and turn themselves into stronger people.
I can tell you from personal experience, that I have been through many of such situations in my life as well… both in my businesses and in my relationships. There were many times in my business and my relationships that I felt like quitting because everything seemed so hopeless and unfair. However, thank goodness, I eventually found the strength to get up from each defeat and keep moving forward. Now, looking back, it was these painful periods that allow me to enjoy the greatest rewards that I enjoy today.
The Power of Contrast
So, what kept me going? What gave me the ability to never give up and to never surrender? The first secret I used was the power of CONTRAST. To many of us, our problems may seem really huge and painful. Often times, this ‘impossible’ problem is only our perception! You can bet that somewhere in the world, there is something who is going through something 10 times worst than you are… and they are able to do it.
So, to inspire myself, I would read stories about other people who are going through extreme challenges in their life and find out how they get through it. After reading about them, my problems would suddenly seem so easy and achievable in contrast.
Some of the people who have inspired me the most include the story of the Hoyt Family. It is about a father who has to take care of his son, Rick, who was born with Cerebral Palsy and was paralyzed from the neck down. Rick was also unable to speak from birth. Despite doctors telling father Dick that his son will never be able to go to school or to work, Dick never gave up on his son. With his father’s help, Rick has participated in over 900 marathons, graduated from college and works in a full time job today. You can watch a video about the Hoyt family in my earlier post.
Another inspiring role model I have often blogged about is 86 year old Lim Yow Tong. In the 1996, Lim was declared a bankrupt after Emporium, the company he built for over 40 years, collapsed. At the age of 72, Lim’s total business debts were over $100 million. Instead of feeling sorry for himself and resigning himself to a fate of poverty, Lim refused to stay bankrupt. At age 72, when things would seem hopeless and impossible for most people his age and with his level of debt, he decided to start all over again. He left Singapore, going to Brunei and Malaysia to restart his business, with money from new investors.
10 years later, at the age of 82, Lim became a millionaire once more and was worth over $4 million. You can read more about him in my earlier post as well.
The Four Beliefs That Keep Me Going
Besides the power of contrast, what also enables me to get through the toughest periods of my life have been four beliefs that empower me constantly.
Belief #1: Everything Happens For A Reason
Many people give up when things seem tough because they see their suffering as being pointless and unfair. When they fail or experience huge setbacks, they see it as because they are not good enough, that what they are doing is not meant to be or that they are just unlucky. They tend to ask themselves, ‘why must this happen to me????’
I have always been able to stay confident and motivated because I believe that everything, no matter how bad it seems now, happens for a good reason. It is to either to teach me a valuable lesson to become better or there is somehow a blessing in disguise. As long as I keep taking action, the ‘problem’ will soon be revealed into a ‘blessing’. Believing in this has always given me the strength to carry on.
8 years ago, an interior design company I started with a partner was facing financial difficulties. After investing $250,000 just 12 months earlier, the company was facing severe cash flow problems. Sales that was projected to come in, never materialized. When the company was not able to pay its creditors, debt collectors came after me every day! I was harassed and threatened. When my partner was declared a bankrupt, I was left as a sole director, liable for the few hundred thousand in debt that was incurred. It was one of the most painful and stressful periods of my life!
Now looking back, I have realized that huge business failure of mine was a true blessing in disguise, because it taught me the most powerful lessons on business that allowed me to build the range of successful companies I have today. It taught me about prudent financial management and how to really select the right partners and team I can trust.These are lessons that school/ books could never teach me. It gave me the courage, wisdom and foresight to be able to build one of the largest education companies in Asia, starting with just $8,000. If I never had that big fall, I would never have picked up the mindset and skills of a truly great entrepreneur.
Belief #2:Every Event, No Matter How Bad, Will End.
The second belief that has kept me going through the toughest times is that no matter how bad an event is, it will always come to an end. Nothing bad lasts forever. Every recession will come to an end. With it will come the next economic boom. The pain of every relationship breakup will come to an end. With it will come the chance to create new and even better relationships. The earthquake in Haiti, no matter how disastrous it is now, will come to an end. With it will come the chance to rebuild the town and the people. We just have to make sure that we mentally make it to the end and are there to enjoy the start of a new beginning. It is rather sad when people commit suicide. To me, it is like a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
It is this belief that also gave me the opportunity to make lots of money during the financial crisis. In January 2009, stock markets had fallen so much (The US market was down 55%, Singapore was down 65% and China was down 70%), that many people thought that stocks would never recover. Prices seemed to be going down day after day with no end in sight.
Many people chose to sell at huge losses or were to fearful to buy when prices were so low. However, I believed that every market crash would end. Following it would be the greatest stock market rally in history. So in that same month, I wrote a book (in 30 days) called Profit from the Panic and invested 80% of all my money into the stock market. Sure enough, 2 months later, in March 2009, the crash ended and stocks began to see one of their biggest rise in the last 50 years! Stocks I bought at $2 were worth $12, making me a nice fortune.
Belief #3: Whatever Does Not Kill Me, Will Make Me Stronger
The third belief I have is that whatever does not kill me will make me stronger. Because of my parents divorce at age 13, I became a much stronger person emotionally. I learnt to be independent. Because I was dumped and heart broken by three girlfriends from age 16-22, I became a much stronger and smarter person. Because I lost over $150,000 in the stock market as a newbie investor in my early twenties, it has make me a much stronger and wiser investor today. Because my interior design company went bankrupt 8 years ago and I survived it, I have no fear of failure today.
Belief #4: It Is Always The Darkest Before Dawn
Finally, I have found that it is usually the darkest before dawn. What this means is that when things become the very worst it can be, it usually the signal that things will turn around. Did you know that seconds before the sun rises, the night is usually the darkest? Did you know that just before the stock market reverses and starts recovering, the majority of people panic and sell everything they have? It is called the ‘capitulation effect’. Capitulate means to surrender. Only when all the stock sellers have surrendered and sold everything they have left, the stock buyers will then come in and start pushing prices up again.
Watch any movie and you would see the same phenomenon. Just before the happy ending, the hero usually goes through a period when everything goes wrong and things seem hopeless. That’s when things suddenly turn around and the movie ends with success. As corny as it sounds, thats the way life is. The trouble is many people give up at that darkest point and never get to see the dawn.
A Short Video On Never Giving Up
Two years ago, I talked about Nick Vujicic, the man who was born without arms or legs. Here’s a video about him which I love. It’s about him talking about never ever giving up. It is not how you start. It is not what happens in the middle. It is how you finish. Are you going to finish strong? Enjoy it.
To end on a lighter note, I realized that even a tiny reptile like a lizard knows the meaning of never giving up until his last breath! Something we can definitely learn from.
A few weeks back I wrote this blog post and wanted readers to share their goals online and make it a PUBLIC commitment. 58 of you have responded and I would to congratulate each one of you for taking that first step in creating success in your life.
You see, the mere act of writing down your goals gives you clarity and power! And it becomes even more effective when you share it with the people around you (because now you can’t back out!). I said I’d give away a FREE copy of one of my ebooks to the person who shares the most comprehensive and inspiring comment about their goals for 2010.
Well… I’ve gone through all 58 of your entries and I’ve picked a winner. Let’s congratulate Jay who shared his comment and was very clear about the goals he wants to achieve and also how he’s going to do them. Congratulations! My staff will be emailing you shortly for your prize.
If you didn’t win, please don’t look at it that way! Remember, just by taking the first step, sharing your goals and making it a public commitment, you have already shown how SERIOUS you are to YOURSELF about how important your goals are! That is power! So use that and skyrocket yourself towards success in 2010!
I just finished compiling another NEW report for you called Driving Yourself To The Top! Inside this 19-page report, I share about why one of the most important ingredients for success in life is MOTIVATION.
So the question is how do you motivate yourself? And not only that… but how do you motivate yourself effortlessly and naturally? So you don’t have to struggle and “use your willpower” just to achieve your goals in life.
So if you’re looking at ways to motivate yourself naturally and effortlessly, then you’ll definitely enjoy this read.
“Make More Money”, ” Lose Weight”, ‘Be Nicer to Other People”, ” Spend More Time With My Family”, ” Eat More Healthily”, ‘Start a Business ” etc…
It is a brand new year again and a time when many people see as a fresh start to set New Years Resolutions. Have you wondered how many people actually work on, let alone achieve their resolutions? After coaching and training over 560,000 people in 7 countries and reading hundreds of emails a month, I can tell you that more than 90% of people never achieve their goals and make the changes they want in their life. So, if you have experienced this in the past, you are not alone.
So, why do so many people fail at keeping their resolutions, achieve their goals and make the changes they want in life? Here are three main reasons
Reason #1: Vague, Unspecific Goals
Solution: Get Clear on What You Want
The goals people set are often vague and non-specific. They set goals like ‘ to lose weight’ or ‘to make more money’. When you are vague, you will never get what you want. It is often said that CLARITY IS POWER. You need to set specific, measurable outcomes so your mind knows exactly what to do and what needs to be done to get it. For example, set goals like ‘to lose 10kg in 90 days and to weight exactly 48 kg’. When you are specific, you can then develop a plan of how many calories to consume a meal and how many hours you need to work out on a treadmill to burn ‘X’ calories per day.
When you set a clear goal like ‘to increase my income from $4,000month to $$10,000 a month in 5 months. You are clear that you have to build an extra income stream (s) of $6,000. You can possible develop a plan to earn an extra $2,000 from Internet marketing/ads from blogs, another $2,000 from trading FOREX and another $2,000 from doing part-time commissioned sales/tuition.
Reason #2: Lack of Consistent Focus
Solution: Focus on What You Want Daily
The second reason many people don’t get what they want is because they write a goal down, put it aside and forget about it until a year later. In the meantime, they get distracted and caught up with the daily struggles and demands of life.
What has really helped me is that I write my goals down on large pieces of Poster sized paper and stick it near my workstation, in my bedroom and in my office. I even design my goals onto my computer desktop wallpaper. This way, the goals are constantly IN MY FACE and ON MY MIND 18 hours a day. This makes me constantly remind myself to move towards my goals and to act in a way which I want.
Reason #3: Interest But Not a Commitment
Solution: Make a Public Commitment
Let’s face it. Many of us think of goals we would LIKE to achieve. We think it will be NICE to have. However, often times, it is not a strong COMMITMENT to MUST do it. As human beings, we are also great at breaking promises to ourselves and we start to justify. “I know I said I would lose weight but it’s just too difficult so nevermind, Nobody will know anyway’ is the common thought.
If you want to make things happen in your life, you have to make goals a COMMITMENT by putting yourself on the line. Make it very hard for you to turn back. What I often do is when I set a goal (e.g. recently I set a goal of writing a book ‘Secrets of Successful Teens’, I make a PUBLIC COMMITMENT by announcing it to my friends,family, facebook, BLOG and pretty much everyone I meet.
When you keep talking and announcing what you must do and change, your brain will give you no choice but to do it. This is a tough thing to do, but IT WORKS. So, my challenge to you is to announce your goals on my blog (under comments) so you are committed to make it happen.
The person who submits the most comprehensive and inspiring BLOG COMMENT will get a free ebook from me. The contest is on and will end on 18 Jan 2010.
Reason #4: Lack of Personal Power
Solution: Take Charge of Your Mind and Tale Action
The last thing that stops people from success is that they do not take action. They don’t use their personal power to get the results they want. What stops them from taking action are things like FEAR, PROCRASTINATION, SELF-DOUBT, LAZINESS etc…
You have to understand that you are in control of your own thoughts and emotions, Using techniques like NLP, you can learn how to control your mind and direct your focus to motivate yourself and break through negative habits and behavioural patterns. You have to learn NLP to develop focus and drive yourself to take massive action to get the results you want.
If one of your goals in 2010 is to make a significant change in your life and to really become the successful person you want to be, then make the life changing decision to attend the PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE programme that I conduct personally, together with NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer, Stuart Tan.
The PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE is an NLP-based Personal Excellence Programme that will empower you with the tools and strategies to:
- Design a powerful life plan using Achievable Outcome Thinking.
- Eliminate limiting Belief Filters and design new empowering ones to propel you forward
- Tap into peak states like motivation and self-confidence using Sub-modalities and Physiological Shifts.
- Overcome procrastination, fears and develop the personal power to take massive action
- Collapse negative patterns/habits that are limiting your professional and personal life. Install empowering ones you can use to trigger off your peak states at will.
- Re-ignite your drive by identifying and aligning your Values
- Develop powerful communication skills to influence others to your way of thinking
This programme is offered in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia and seats are really limited. For more information or to register for a free 3-hour preview workshop, call 62740105 and speak to one of my consultants now. I look forward to seeing you soon!
Next Patterns of Excellence Programme in Singapore: 4-7 March 2010
Free 3-Hour preview: 7pm, 14 Jan 2010, Adam Khoo Training Centre, 10 Hoe Chiang Rd #01-01
This is just a quick announcement that I have launched a brand new BLOG, www.AdamKhooWealth.com that will be focused on investing strategies, tips on money management, ideas on creating multiple streams of income etc..
It is specially for those of you who are passionate and committed to take charge of your own finances and achieve financial freedom and independence. I hope you enjoy it for the years to come. You can also get there by clicking on the ‘Wealth Tips’ tab on the top menu bar
In order to become more successful, it is important to continually strive for personal growth. We need to keep pushing ourselves to be better than the person we were in the past. As time goes by, we need to keep growing in terms of our mental strength, emotional strength, abilities and skills.
We all know this. So, what stops most people from actually becoming stronger and better each day? What stops many of us from becoming better at making friends, better at learning, better at leadership, better at public speaking?
I believe the answer is that FEAR is what keeps us within our comfort zone. We tend to want to keep doing what is comfortable and certain than to attempt something that is fearful and hence uncomfortable. As a result, we may never grow and become better.
For example, have you always wanted to be able to be a confident public speaker? Have you ever thought that the ability to speak to a group of people will make you a greater asset to your company, make you a better leader and give you a better chance for promotion and hence a higher income?
So, what has stopped you from becoming that great speaker? I would bet that it was the fear of even attempting in the first place; the fear of failure and embarrassment. When the chance came, you did not grab it. You let it pass by and allowed someone else to take it. As a result, you never had a chance to practice and become good at it.
Well, I am here to tell you that to grow, you have to get yourself to stretch out of your comfort zone! Do whatever frightens you (but benefits you). I can assure you that once you take that first step, it will not seem that fearful anymore. When your brain has realized that you have not died from it, you will become even stronger as a result. After you do it a few more times, the fear will not only disappear, but you may even find it fun. Remember, that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!
I can tell you that everyone feels fear. Fear is a god given gift meant to protect us. It can be useful at times. Unfortunately, if we don’t learn to control it, it will imprison us and harm us instead. When I first had to speak to a small crowd, do you think I was scared? Of course! So being scared is natural. The only people who do not feel fear are those in the graveyard. The first time, my hands were sweaty, my legs were shaking uncontrollably and I had a million butterflies in my stomach.
However, I learn from a book that FEAR is nothing but a False-Experience-Appearing-Real (F.E.A.R). It’s our mind that makes it worst that it actually is. If your mind can do that, Couldn’t your mind also make it funnier and easier than it actually is?
So, using NLP techniques that I had learnt, I visualized that my audience had ants in their underwear and that a bird was pooping on their heads. By changing the way my brain re-presented the experienced, I started feeling humorous and less fearful. After I finished that first speech, the fear lessened and the confidence grew. With each talk, the confidence grew and grew and that is what allows me to speak to a 5,000 strong crowd today with lots of confidence.
You can do the same thing to! You can build confidence in any area, as long as you take the first step to control your mind (learning NLP really helps), stretch out of your comfort zone and take action! So, think of a list of things that you are afraid/uncomfortable doing BUT you know is beneficial to you.
Could it be a fear of….
Public speaking? Dealing with numbers? Meeting New People? Sharing Your Feelings? Starting a project? Pursuing a new career? Going back to school/university to learn? Leading a group?
Commit to yourself to do one little thing a day that scares you, but will get you to stretch out of your comfort zone so you can a little stronger day by day.
I just finished compiling another NEW report for you called Driving Yourself To The Top! Inside this 19-page report, I share about why one of the most important ingredients for success in life is MOTIVATION.
